It only took me two clicks on the link to discover a bit of cop on.limecat wrote:http://www.theuselessweb.com/
In need of a laugh?
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Re: In need of a laugh?
Get in the f%~king bag.
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Re: In need of a laugh?
"It was Mrs O'Leary's cow"
Daniel Sullivan
Daniel Sullivan
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Re: In need of a laugh?
"It was Mrs O'Leary's cow"
Daniel Sullivan
Daniel Sullivan
Re: In need of a laugh?
Someone is having a bad hair day.
http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread ... oria/page3
http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread ... oria/page3
“Somedays you're the pigeon, somedays you're the statue.”
Re: In need of a laugh?
#LiveLifeLoveLeinster
#BeSeenBeHeardBeBlueBELIEVE
I'm a Book Mark and damn proud of it. Storm 1:08 forever
#BeSeenBeHeardBeBlueBELIEVE
I'm a Book Mark and damn proud of it. Storm 1:08 forever
Re: In need of a laugh?
I know I shouldn't but I can't help it - one of the funniest pieces I've read in a long time
[quote=Leinsterlion]
December 13, 2012
The lights dimmed, the crowds roar was naught but a low rumble of anticipation. The opposing fans were cowed, some were openly sobbing and tearing to remove their replica shirts.
The echoes of “Supermans” pre match speech still reverberated in the rafters of the spiritual like fortress Thomand. He would not be there in person as he was grievously wounded in a previous battle, but he would be there in spirit.
The red army, arms linked in unison, hair standing on end, roared en masse, foaming at the lips as their heroes entered the field.
Evoking memories of Cú Chullain and legends of yore. O’Callaghan steamed out of the tunnel, arms windmilling furiously, giant gusts of wind swept forth knocking over small children causing the Saracens players already on the pitch to squat down eyes rolling in fear.
O’Callaghans tanned muscular ripped torso, rippling from the efforts of his furious windmilling, was steaming in the freezing sleet. He stood beside the faithful, allowing his warmth to exude over the stand, warming whiskeys as well as the red enrobed faithful.
Suddenly the low rumble of the crowd turned into a roar as the leader of the red warriors stepped out into the freezing sleet, as if he was walking out onto a beach in San Francisco. What was rain to this leader of men? a general for the ages, a man tales are written in stone for.
ROG started kicking balls into the crowd. Women dropped in their children in an effort to get a hold of the piece of rubber that had been blessed by their hero. Women and children were afaint at the sight of his majestic touchfinders, and the odd ball he kicked into the baying mass. What would happen when the match actually kicked off?
Young Farrell, his father high up in the rafters, had never felt more alone, he couldnt concentrate, couldnt hear his captain or his general on the touchline.He tried to kick in the now pounding sleet, but the ball slithered off his boot barely going ten meters. He watched in fear and awe the the giant figure of ROG boomed his kicks INTO the wind.He briefly felt his frozen thighs warm as he realised he’d involuntarily wet himself.
The Saracens team were beaten in spirit by the baying crowd and the sight of the mythical red robed warriors. Still they lined for the Heineken cup anthem determined to go out in glory or die trying. But what was this? It wasnt the Heineken cup anthem It was a druidic song, passed down from generation to generation…..Saracens cosmopolition team began to quiver and drop to the ground eys rolling tongues gagging in fear…The song went..
RUCK……MAUL…KICK FOR THE CORNER!!!….
RUCK….MAUL….KICK FOR THE CORNER!!!!..
PENALTY…MIRACLE MATCH!!!…..
WHO IS THIS JOHNNY SEXTON FELLAH?…..
The crowd began then to join in the druidic incantations evoking the spirits of the fallen warriors of yore to inhabit the jerseys of the current players …Clohessy….Galway…….Wood….Quinny …the list went on…….
Suddenly there was an almighty blast of a horn, and a humongous stag came bounding through the mists…Sat on the stags back was the hulking figure of John Hayes. Such was the awe and reverence one could hear a pin drop…John let out a low rumble…”Proceed” he intoned, handing the ref P Gaüzère the ball…..Stuart Barnes let out a low breathless Ooooooooh as the match kicked off, knowing Saracens had already been beaten before they had stepped foot on the pitch and in anticipation of the grinding slaughter he knew was coming.
http://whiffofcordite.com/2012/12/13/si ... mment-2919
[/quote]
[quote=Leinsterlion]
December 13, 2012
The lights dimmed, the crowds roar was naught but a low rumble of anticipation. The opposing fans were cowed, some were openly sobbing and tearing to remove their replica shirts.
The echoes of “Supermans” pre match speech still reverberated in the rafters of the spiritual like fortress Thomand. He would not be there in person as he was grievously wounded in a previous battle, but he would be there in spirit.
The red army, arms linked in unison, hair standing on end, roared en masse, foaming at the lips as their heroes entered the field.
Evoking memories of Cú Chullain and legends of yore. O’Callaghan steamed out of the tunnel, arms windmilling furiously, giant gusts of wind swept forth knocking over small children causing the Saracens players already on the pitch to squat down eyes rolling in fear.
O’Callaghans tanned muscular ripped torso, rippling from the efforts of his furious windmilling, was steaming in the freezing sleet. He stood beside the faithful, allowing his warmth to exude over the stand, warming whiskeys as well as the red enrobed faithful.
Suddenly the low rumble of the crowd turned into a roar as the leader of the red warriors stepped out into the freezing sleet, as if he was walking out onto a beach in San Francisco. What was rain to this leader of men? a general for the ages, a man tales are written in stone for.
ROG started kicking balls into the crowd. Women dropped in their children in an effort to get a hold of the piece of rubber that had been blessed by their hero. Women and children were afaint at the sight of his majestic touchfinders, and the odd ball he kicked into the baying mass. What would happen when the match actually kicked off?
Young Farrell, his father high up in the rafters, had never felt more alone, he couldnt concentrate, couldnt hear his captain or his general on the touchline.He tried to kick in the now pounding sleet, but the ball slithered off his boot barely going ten meters. He watched in fear and awe the the giant figure of ROG boomed his kicks INTO the wind.He briefly felt his frozen thighs warm as he realised he’d involuntarily wet himself.
The Saracens team were beaten in spirit by the baying crowd and the sight of the mythical red robed warriors. Still they lined for the Heineken cup anthem determined to go out in glory or die trying. But what was this? It wasnt the Heineken cup anthem It was a druidic song, passed down from generation to generation…..Saracens cosmopolition team began to quiver and drop to the ground eys rolling tongues gagging in fear…The song went..
RUCK……MAUL…KICK FOR THE CORNER!!!….
RUCK….MAUL….KICK FOR THE CORNER!!!!..
PENALTY…MIRACLE MATCH!!!…..
WHO IS THIS JOHNNY SEXTON FELLAH?…..
The crowd began then to join in the druidic incantations evoking the spirits of the fallen warriors of yore to inhabit the jerseys of the current players …Clohessy….Galway…….Wood….Quinny …the list went on…….
Suddenly there was an almighty blast of a horn, and a humongous stag came bounding through the mists…Sat on the stags back was the hulking figure of John Hayes. Such was the awe and reverence one could hear a pin drop…John let out a low rumble…”Proceed” he intoned, handing the ref P Gaüzère the ball…..Stuart Barnes let out a low breathless Ooooooooh as the match kicked off, knowing Saracens had already been beaten before they had stepped foot on the pitch and in anticipation of the grinding slaughter he knew was coming.
http://whiffofcordite.com/2012/12/13/si ... mment-2919
[/quote]
#LiveLifeLoveLeinster
#BeSeenBeHeardBeBlueBELIEVE
I'm a Book Mark and damn proud of it. Storm 1:08 forever
#BeSeenBeHeardBeBlueBELIEVE
I'm a Book Mark and damn proud of it. Storm 1:08 forever
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Re: In need of a laugh?
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Re: In need of a laugh?
Dougie is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says, "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?"
Paddy replies "No, I only live round the corner."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?"
Paddy replies "No, I only live round the corner."
Re: In need of a laugh?
Bloody Englishmen! Get you're facts right. Was it Dougie, Paddy or Danny? To be honest, I think you made the whole story up!tigerburnie wrote:Dougie is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says, "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?"
Paddy replies "No, I only live round the corner."
Re: In need of a laugh?
If they cannot get the tense for the verb, To sit right, what do you expect with names!!!
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Re: In need of a laugh?
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Re: In need of a laugh?
6 Nations Bingo!
http://sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-a ... 8063_n.jpg
Anyone wanna take a stab at the Irish pundits equivalent.
http://sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-a ... 8063_n.jpg
Anyone wanna take a stab at the Irish pundits equivalent.
Ruddock's tackle stats consistently too low for me to be taken seriously as a Six Nations blindside..... Ruddock's defensive stats don't stack up. - All Blacks Nil, Jan 15th, 2014
England A 8 - 14 Ireland A, 25th Jan 2014
Ruddock(c) 19/2 Tackles
England A 8 - 14 Ireland A, 25th Jan 2014
Ruddock(c) 19/2 Tackles
Re: In need of a laugh?
"Brian Moore uses a word you don't know the meaning of"
I always thought it was just me!
I always thought it was just me!
johng wrote:Classic bit of Sidness there.
Re: In need of a laugh?
#LiveLifeLoveLeinster
#BeSeenBeHeardBeBlueBELIEVE
I'm a Book Mark and damn proud of it. Storm 1:08 forever
#BeSeenBeHeardBeBlueBELIEVE
I'm a Book Mark and damn proud of it. Storm 1:08 forever
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Re: In need of a laugh?
A proud Winsome Fluter
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Re: In need of a laugh?
Lovely, thanks for that GOM!
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Re: In need of a laugh?
"It was Mrs O'Leary's cow"
Daniel Sullivan
Daniel Sullivan